Snow White and the Huntsman (2012) can probably best be summed up as a Willow for the 21st century. Here is a film that had the potential to be, if not great, at least tolerable and utterly failed. Instead, it is another film in which random plot elements from other stories were put in a blender and what came out was passed off as a plot.
Plot: Through magic, deceit, and a little old fashioned murder an evil Queen, takes over a kingdom and imprisons Snow White, the princess, in the dungeons for several years. Snow White escapes and is eventually aided by the huntsman, who had been hired to kill here. Several mostly boring scenes that do little to advance the plot occur then happily the movie ends.
The Fair: The cinematography, costumes, and art direction were all at least adequate. The special effects were well executed, though often poorly conceived (The T2 style "liquid metal" magic mirror, for example). The score was pleasant, but too subdued for the film. Charlize Theron was fine in the rather limited role of evil queen.
The Bad: Everything else. Really. The casting, acting, plot, direction, and logic were all abysmal.
The worst among the cast was easily Kristen Stewart, who lately seems to have a grand total of one facial expression - constipated. It this this film, she hits a new low, displaying the emotional range of the average zombie in The Walking Dead. Realizing that Stewart is pleasant looking, but hardly the "fairest" of them all, the film suggests that "fairest" is an inner beauty. This works for Snow White but that would mean Ravenna, the self-centered, sadistic evil queen had the second most inner beauty of the women in the kingdom. An extreme, though unintentional, anti-feminist statement that would be too much even for a John Norman fan. Of course the first women they meet are nowhere near as bad as the queen so even this meaning of "fairest" doesn't hold up to scrutiny.
Less problematic, though not much better, is the is Chris Hemsworth, who has recently been fairly good as Thor and George Kirk, here comes across as a naive, depressed, mumbling, Aragorn wannabe. Perhaps his acting was influenced by Stewart.
Other than being rather slow and boring, the worst remaining problem is that so much of the film seems like padding and does nothing to advance the plot. Meeting the magical deer in the forest is clearly pointless as there is no need to prove that she is "the one." She is the daughter of the murdered king and heir to the throne, regardless of rather a stag bows to her or not.
And like Willow, the film borrows just a little to heavy from other stories. The aforementioned deer scene is far to close to scene in Legend where Lili meets the unicorns to be coincidental. Snow White being "the one" will be quite familiar to fans of Harry Potter and her "Who will stand with me? Who will be my Brother?" speech is a watered down version of the St. Crispin's day speech from Henry V "For he to-day that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother" Normally swiping from Shakespeare is a good idea, but when everything is swiped from better films/stories this just makes matters worse.
Final Rating: 2 out of 10. Don't waste your time on it.
Showing posts with label film. Show all posts
Showing posts with label film. Show all posts
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sunday Freebies
A few goodies for what's left of the weekend. First a 1935 feature film version of the serial "Phantom Empire" some good free fiction and several cool free gaming items.Video
The Phantom Empire (1935)
"Cowboy singer Gene Autry stumbles upon a civilization buried beneath his own Radio Ranch. The Muranians have developed technology and weaponry such as television and ray guns. Their rich supply of radium draws unscrupulous speculators from the surface. The peaceful civilization of the Muranians is corrupted by the greed from above, and it becomes Autry's task to prevent all-out war, ideally without disrupting his regular radio show."
Or download it for free here.

@Baen: "Intelligent Design" by Sharon Lee and Steve Miller. Science Fiction. [via SF Signal*]
@Pixel of Ink: [Free Kindle Book] Demon Girl by Penelope Fletcher. Fantasy, Paranormal, Young Adult. [via SF Signal*] Other formats at Manybooks.
@Pixel of Ink: [Free Kindle Book] Shimmerspell by Kimberly Spencer. Fantasy, Young Adult. Other formats at Smashwords.
Serial Fiction
@Author's Site: "Paradigm Shift #1" by Misa Buckley. Science Fiction. [via SF Signal*]
Classic SF
@Internet Archive: "Exiles of Mars"by Frank K. Kelly. (From the Summer 1932 issue of Wonder Stories Quarterly). Science Fiction.
@Internet Archive: "The Forest of Knives" by A. Bertram Chandler. (From the October-November 1953 issue of Fantastic Universe). Science Fiction.
@Internet Archive: "A Visit to Suari" by A. Hyatt Verrill (From the July 1930 issue of Amazing Stories). Science Fiction.
@Internet Archive: "A Fishing Trip on the Planet Mars" by F. H. Sidney. (From the May 1919 issue of Overland Monthly). Science Fiction.
@Munseys and Gutenberg: "Thy Name Is Woman" by Bryce Walton. (From IF Worlds of Science Fiction March 1953). Science Fiction.
@Munseys and Gutenberg: "You Too Can Be A Millionaire" by Noel Miller Loomis. (From IF Worlds of Science Fiction November 1952). Science Fiction.

@DriveThruRPG: "Savage Worlds: The Wild Hunt"- Quickstart Adventure.
@DriveThruRPG: "Little Red Goblin Sampler" - includes two adventures and two monsters.
@DriveThruRPG: "Of Mice Men and Wizards" - Beer and Pretzels RPG.
@Ancient Vaults & Eldritch Secrets: [Magic Items] "Hookah of Epic Tales," and "Bone Arrows of the Necromancer Lord,"
@Ancient Vaults & Eldritch Secrets: [Spells] "Call to Allies," "Eye of the Storm," "Fog Dogs" and "Wisdom of the Folk"
@Character for Every Game: [Map Links] "An Awesome Array of RPG Cartography"
@Field Guide to Doomsday: [Monsters] "Belcher," "Headhunger," and "Tigerstar" - Mutant Future.
@Kobold Quarterly: [Monster] "Eaters of Tithes" - 4E.
@Land of NOD: [Encounter] "Mu-Pan Eastern Encounter VI."
@Land of NOD: [Encounter] "Mu-Pan Eastern Encounter V."
@Land of NOD: [Heroes] "Captains Courageous" - WW II Patriotic Heroes for Mystery Men!
@RPG Creatures: [Monster] "Ardhamma"
@Rule of the Dice: [Spells] "More Old Magic Spells"
@Sea of Stars: [Magic Item] "Blood Tracker Dagger"
Labels:
Dungeons and Dragons,
fantasy,
film,
Mars,
paranormal,
RPG,
sci-fi,
science fiction
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Robert Vardeman Serial, Good Free Fiction, and a Bad Free Movie.

Some very good stuff today. Beneath Ceaseless Skies has another great issue out as does Four Star Stories, which should be a treat. Lots of good fantasy. Some very good classic and reviewed SF, including a Northwest Smith story by C.L. Moore (one of my favorite early SF writers). And a Pathfinder fantasy serial by Robert Vardeman! starting at Paizo. Great audio, including some episodes of Mindwebs (an e1970s radio equivalent of today's best fiction podcasts), BCS audio-fiction, and the latest BtHM.
And very much not in the good category, a 1960 TV movie The Cape Canaveral Monsters. With a 2.4 IMDb rating, this is only for connoisseurs of bad films, people who feel they must watch every professional Sci-Fi film ever made, and those exceptionally deranged people who fall into both categories (I'll likely be watching it this weekend)
Image from "Clever Love" in the fiction section.

Now Posted: Beneath Ceaseless Skies Issue #72. Fantasy.
"Sightwolf" by Erin Hoffman. Fantasy.
Now Posted: Four Star Stories Summer 2011
"Mak Siccar" by Lou Antonelli.And very much not in the good category, a 1960 TV movie The Cape Canaveral Monsters. With a 2.4 IMDb rating, this is only for connoisseurs of bad films, people who feel they must watch every professional Sci-Fi film ever made, and those exceptionally deranged people who fall into both categories (I'll likely be watching it this weekend)
Image from "Clever Love" in the fiction section.

Now Posted: Beneath Ceaseless Skies Issue #72. Fantasy.
"Sightwolf" by Erin Hoffman. Fantasy.
"In Astralar, middling flint-walled city pressed against the chill bosom of the Windsmouth Mountains, a woman will be banished for failure to pay taxes.""The Moral Education of a Mad Bastard" by Joe L. Murr. Fantasy.
I was twelve when I, like my father before me, was sentenced to transportation to Sutterland. My crime was the theft of a leg of lamb. I stole to feed myself and, if Governor Bidwell was to be believed, because I could not do otherwise.
Now Posted: Four Star Stories Summer 2011
"It looks like it is going to be a fine morning." The Second Mate looked sideways at his companion. "I hope you enjoy this little liberty. Ten minutes, and it’s back in cuffs and down below for you."
"Clever Love" by R. L. Copple. Fantasy.
"The forest beckoned Jal'ra to return. His elvish kinsmen romped among those branches. Memories of children chasing squirrels and each other demanded he not leave. No longer sensing the familiar melody of the trees resonating in his heart didn't help either.""Strawman at the Door" by David L. Gray.
"Mark Jacobs materialized in the dark alley, stumbled hard, then had to twist 180 degrees to break his fall with his left buttock against the side of an empty dumpster. It produced a low, metallic booming sound and a throbbing pain in his left hip."
"Fish Story" by Selina Rosen.
"'All right buddy where are you going in such a hurry,' The trooper said shining a flashlight in the guy’s window. The guy was filthy covered with mud and what might have been blood."
Reviewed Free SF
@BestScienceFictionStories.com: "The Cassandra Project" by Jack McDevitt (2010) science fiction. In text and MP3.
"It is about an ancient dome discovered on the far side of the Moon."Classic SF/ Weird Tales
@Internet Archive: "Gunner Cade" by Cyril Judd, from the March, April, May 1952 issues of Astounding Science Fiction magazine."Gunner Cade, a professional soldier of the Realm of Man, is captured by rebel forces on Mars but escapes, only to find that he is being hunted by fellow gunners."@Munseys and Gutenberg: "When the Mountain Shook" by Robert Abernathy. Science Fiction. From IF Worlds of Science Fiction March 1954.
"Dark was the Ryzga mountain and forbidding; steep were its cliffs and sheer its crevasses. But its outward perils could not compare with the Ryzgas themselves, who slept within, ready to wake and conquer...."@Munseys and Gutenberg: "Piper in the Woods" by Philip K Dick. Science Fiction. From Imagination: Stories of Science and Fantasy February 1953. Science Fiction.
"Earth maintained an important garrison on Asteroid Y-3. Now suddenly it was imperiled with a biological impossibility—men becoming plants!"@Munseys and Gutenberg: "A Woman's Place" by Mark Clifton. Science Fiction. From Galaxy Science Fiction May 1955.
"Home is where you hang up your spaceship—that is, if you have any Miss Kitty along!"@Munseys and Gutenberg: "The Door into Infinity" by Edmond Hamilton. Weird. From Weird Tales August-September 1936. Weird.
"An amazing weird mystery story, packed with thrills, danger and startling events."@Munseys and Gutenberg: "The Tree of Life" by C L Moore. Science Fiction. From Weird Tales October 1936. Weird.
"A gripping tale of the planet Mars and the terrible monstrosity that called its victims to it from afar—a tale of Northwest Smith"@Munseys and Gutenberg: "The Genius" by Con Pederson. Science Fiction. From IF Worlds of Science Fiction May 1954. Weird.
"Sethos was a great artist, a talented man, quite possibly the most famous man of his time and world. But, alas!—there were other worlds. And is not the grass always greener...?"Serial Fiction
@Paizo.com: "Plow and Sword - Chapter One: Smoke on the Horizon" by Robert E. Vardeman."It took several minutes for the cougar's ululating screech to make Rorr look up from his autumn plowing. The day was unseasonably warm for Neth, and sweat trickled down his back. He knew the heat was an illusion—cutting through the dried brown chaff remaining in his field and plowing it under for spring fertilizer had to be completed soon, before snow buried the land."
@Internet Archive: Eleven episodes of the classic "semi-dramatized" radio series Mindwebs. Science Fiction."Many of the readings were enhanced by music, periodic sound cues, and the occasional character voice, however they are not completely dramatized. In a way Mind Webs stories are a cross between radio drama and audio books."
@Beware the Hairy Mango: Episode 81 "They Call Me Johnny Eggroll" by Matthew Sanborn Smith. Weird Fiction. [via SF Signal]
@Beneath Ceaseless Skies: "The Nine-Tailed Cat" by Michael J. DeLuca
"The cat departs from the moonbeam, flicking its tails."

@Internet Archive: The Cape Canaveral Monsters. 1960 TV Movie. Streaming and for download. Sci-Fi."When a couple are killed in an auto accident their bodies are immediately inhabited by extraterrestrial beings. Taking refuge in an underground cave, the aliens attempt to sabotage the U.S. space program."
Labels:
aliens,
C. L. Moore,
Edmond Hamilton,
fantasy,
film,
invasion,
Lou Antonelli,
Pathfinder,
Philip K. Dick,
Robert E. Vardeman,
sci-fi,
science fiction,
sf,
weird
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